A Profile of Hope: Bill’s Story
In Bill’s own words…

I often say that cancer was the very worst thing that ever happened to me - but at the same time it was the very best thing - and it changed my life in a way that not many other things could.

In early 2009, not feeling particularly ill or aware of the cancer inside of me, I had felt a lymph node underneath my collar bone (supraclavicular). It felt hard, firm and “attached” to my body in a strange way. It didn’t feel like the kind of swollen gland that comes with, let’s say, a sore throat. I didn’t think a lot about it but did look up the symptom on the internet. Like most symptoms, it could be nothing, the site said, or it was cancer – very helpful.

Coincidentally, I visited my local doctor for what I felt were allergies, and while there the nurse practitioner suggested a chest x-ray. They had the equipment right there, why not take a quick look? Suffice it to say the x-ray showed a shadow that didn’t look proper.

They sent me over to the hospital that day for a CT scan, which confirmed a mass of some kind, some 4cm in length, in my mediastinum, my upper chest. They said it could be a variety of things – one of which was lymphoma – and I needed to see a specialist. My local doctor knew an oncologist in New York and arranged for me to meet him a day later.

That next day I went to the oncologist. He asked about B symptoms, like fever, weight loss, or night sweats, which I did not have. He felt the node and arranged a biopsy for two days after that. I had the biopsy surgery and waited two more days for the results. It was confirmed as Classic Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. My wife took the call and I remember just feeling so lost. Everything suddenly went so quiet.

Cancer.

It was hard to make sense of something that you never think will happen to you.

I went through a series of tests – bone marrow (negative), staging, PET Scan (Stage 2A), and got a military style haircut to prep for what the doctor said was a likely loss of some of my hair. Within two weeks I was on ABVD chemotherapy twice a month for six months. My nausea was controlled by antiemetics. I had hair loss, but not total, although the eyebrows going is what makes one look like they have cancer. I also received Neulasta, shots for low white counts, and a series of additional PET scans to see if the ABVD was working.

Thankfully, I was negative on the first cycle. After four more PET scans and six months of chemo (and going on two years later ) I have remained cancer free. I cannot stress enough the importance of having a good healthcare team. My doctor was not only a super oncologist, he was someone who took time to speak to me about the experience of cancer and the hope that was prevalent in the treatment for Hodgkin lymphoma. He took time with me. He watched carefully the effects of the ABVD on my health. He watched to make sure the cure didn’t hurt me more than the disease. And he saved my life.

I met so many caring healthcare staff. The doctor, the nurses who administered the chemo, and the office staff all became extended family in a parallel universe – a separate “world of cancer,” where treating cancer was all that occurred. They dedicate their lives to this every day and they are the ones I can never forget. They are courageous in a way I cannot describe.

I will say it again – cancer was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, and yet, it was also the best thing, in some crazy way. What I mean is that it altered my sense of place in this world, made me feel so very human, so very connected to others in a way that I had not connected before. It was in its own way a “gift” with great duality – one that I didn’t ask for – but once given to me I felt committed to make it work for my life.

Cancer is such a scourge, but I will survive it, and I pray that those who know me will take the perspective that I received and live their own lives with a renewed sense of purpose and appreciation – this “gift” that I give them for free – that I earned by experiencing cancer.

When I learned that my doctor was being honored at the Lymphoma Research Foundation’s annual gala this year, I knew I had to attend. It was so meaningful to go as a survivor to an event honoring the man that saved my life. Now I also want to provide support to others who have been diagnosed with this disease. By sharing my story and joining the LRF’s Lymphoma Support Network, I hope to do just that.